Quarantine Thoughts…
It’s 11:23pm.. on a Sunday (052420), and of course, I’m wide awake - I have no sense of time these days. I’m up at all hours, sleeping most of my days away and then back here again, awake at night. Life has been so weird these last few months to say the very least. I’ve been out of work which is unheard of for me, life has always on the go go go, I feel like I’m always working, editing, taking workshops, something related to work. So having this off time right now is really forcing me to sit with myself and alot of my feelings that have been pushed aside for…. well work or anything that was a routine and the norm for me that sort’ve didn’t give me time to really thing about anything else.
I don’t want to make this a whole sappy post about covid but more so the lessons and what I’m trying to take out of it and figured I’d just share it with you all in case it may resonate with you too. These last two months have been the REAL emotional rollercoaster for me. I’ve had really high days where I am so happy that not a damnnnnn body can bring me down and then realllllllly LOW days where I’m literally curled up on my couch, crying or binge eating and watching shows. Lets not even talk about all the eating. Lordt. I need the gym, ASAP. How am I always hungry?
Anyway - the real reason for this post is that this quarantine really lit a fire under my behind. It really made alot of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings come to the surface and truly has been a HUGE lesson for me, and I hope all of us. I think we are really all coming out of this learning more about ourselves and HOPEFULLY changing our outlook on life moving forward. I’ve learned that solitude is NECESSARY for inner healing and for some, this pandemic really forced us to do just that. In solitude you find self love, selfcare, you learn YOU. So maybe this pandemic really is a blessing in disguise.
Here are a few things I’ve learned or have been thinking about during quarantine:
We MUST all have a savings or an emergency fund to fall back on. like MUST. — My heart aches when I think about all the families who have been living paycheck to paycheck and literally just got cut short in the midst of all this craziness with no money to fall back on for comfort. Obviously we didn’t expect a WORLD PANDEMIC.. but I hope this really showed us that unexpected things can happen and we must be prepared. & no that does not mean go buy every single roll of toilet paper. Wth was that all about? I still don’t understand that part of this pandemic but hey, I’ll have a story to tell my kids in the future. “and no your mom was not one of those people.”
Give thanks for everything that you do have, every single day. If you have a home to sleep in, you are blessed. If you have food, warm water, clean clothes, a car, a job, good health, a family, etc etc etc you are richer than you think. Pray to God every single day that you wake up even if all you say is thank you because waking up is truly a gift. EVERY SINGLE DAY. You better believe that! And just a little tip to manifest, say thank you even for the things you DONT have YET, likeeeee that big home, or that new job, or all that money in the bank (i do this. its coming someday haha)
Have multiple sources of income - don’t put all your eggs in one basket. — This one was a big wakeup call for me, oh man. I only really rely on photography for my income, so you can only imagine how i felt when they told me I’m NONESSENTIAL and that I had to close my business. I couldn’t document milestones, maternity or newborn sessions for these families, I felt so heartbroken. (like hello, they must not know that what I do should really be ESSENTIAL but okay lol) but I think its important for us to have a few ways for money to come in, just in case one is considered “non essential” we have that other little side hustle bringing in the money for groceries or that phone bill.
DONT TAKE THINGS TOO PERSONAL right now, or ever really. but now especially. If you aren’t talking to loved ones, friends or family as often as you normally would just remember, we are ALL going through this pandemic and you really don’t know what the next person is dealing with that they are refusing to talk about. This one was hard for me to come to terms with in the beginning because I felt like I was checking in on everyone and no-one even knew how much I was hurting on my low days. It’s almost as if no-one remembered I existed, how selfish of me right? I’m such a sensitive person and I really feel things so deep BUT I snapped myself out of that quickly, I can’t make other peoples actions about me, I cannot control anybody or how they choose to deal with things during a world pandemic. I just need to focus on ME and let people focus on themselves and IT IS WHAT IT IS. Don’t worry about how another person is dealing with things and don’t feel ways if their healing is different than yours. All you can really do is work on yourself, so do that, even when the pandemic is over. The best work you will EVER do is the work you do on YOURSELF. Focus on YOU.
If you’re miserable working from home for that job, it may be a sign to reconsider … If you’re not happy in YOUR OWN HOME doing the work you are currently doing, then I would be using this time to really analyze, “WELL WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?” no but really, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? Ask yourself right now. This pandemic was a big reset button for ALL OF US, emotionally and mentally and maybe that new start when outside opens up means NEW JOB for some, doing a job that brings you joy, doing the work you were put on this earth to do.. doing the things that FEED YOUR SOUL and not make you drag out of bed in pajamas hating life, even from home. Don’t stay stuck in a job for money or benefits, or anything like that. we are all on this earth for a reason and our time here is limited, I promise that if you follow your heart and do what brings you TRUE joy, even with no clue on the HOW part, the universe (I call it God), will align all the moon, stars and everything in between to bring you opportunities you never dreamed possible. All you have to do is really be clear on that END result and where you hope to see yourself, the job you see yourself doing, whatever it is you hope to achieve. My life is a living testimony of this. I SWEAR! Law of attraction, have you heard of it? It’s a real thing.
A clean space really is a clear mind. I’ve cleaned so much during this pandemic its INSANE! Once I got my own apartment Ii became a clean freak anyway but this disinfecting every second and this whole new norm this pandemic has brought upon us has turned me into a whole other person, and truthfully, I’m not too mad at it. This is def one of those pandemic lessons you need to continue taking with you going forward. I truly do believe that a cluttered space is a cluttered mind. Take that time to declutter, purge and throw out the things you don’t need, you’ll see how much lighter you will really feel. Don’t store those things thinking you will wear it next year, just go donate it. OH, and make your bed in the mornings! EVERY MORNING. Even if you’re working from home. They say if you make your bed first thing in the morning you already did the first task of the day. Great way to set the tone for your day. (you’re welcome)
Go outside for some fresh air, a walk, anything. just spend some time outdoors. I don’t get much natural light in here at all, so somedays I felt like it was 9pm in my house but it was really like 11am and a BEAUTIFUL DAY out! You’d be very surprised what a little walk, or even just sitting in the sun just being one with nature can really do to your mood. I took walks often and felt alleviated. Even when the pandemic is over, spend more time in nature and outdoors for your mental.
Tell the people you love, that you love them, EVERYDAY, life is short. I think about all the people that lost someone due to covid. I wasn’t directly impacted with a loss during this time BUT i know people who did lose someone due to corona. I encourage everyone to just remind the people that you love that you love them. Even if you’re annoying with it. I promise you that it will make you feel better knowing that the person knows how you feel. I lost my sister in law 9 years ago, and I still have so many things in my heart that I wish i told her. Living with that guilt and regret is… really tough. I think about her all the time and it makes me emotional. I tell everyone I love how I feel now because you just never know. We always think we have time…. thats our biggest fault as humans. We argue with someone today and drag it into tomorrow or the day after because we’re like “we will talk to them over the wknd” or … just let time pass. But NO, life is too short. Don’t be petty. Go tell the people you love how you really feel because we can be here today and gone tomorrow. That’s one thing that we all will have in common at some point.
Protect your peace. Whatever that means to you. Do NOT let other people who have not walked your walk or talk that talk, to try to tell you how you should be dealing with certain things in your life! Point blank PERIODT. We are all different. we are all souls living a human experience and truly, NO TWO HUMANS ARE THE SAME. Don’t let people tell you that you’re wrong for wanting to deal with your feelings or emotions whatever way you see fit, if it makes you happy or is bringing you PEACE, who cares what anybody else says. Genuine happiness and peace of mind are the real goals in life! - Sometimes we vent to people expecting them to give us answers when all along the answer is IN YOU. Sometimes people throw their fears, their opinions, flaws on us and then we become conflicted and confused not knowing if these traits are really apart of us or not. DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. I think it’s best to just keep your really big goals to yourself. Misery loves company and sometimes, not always, most people will seem happy for you but deep down inside feel a little bit of jealousy if they feel left behind. We don’t want to believe that but in most cases, its reality. You know that saying, “people want to see you do good but never better than them” - I believe that. PROTECT YOUR PEACE!
I can go on and on and on and onnnnnnnn about things I’ve learned and think about. My brain is always on a trillion. But I’ll leave you all with this and if you read this far, I thank you so much. Find new ways to love yourself, and make sure that you always take care of YOU 100% before freely investing in others. If your cup is not full, how do you expect to help others?
Until the next blogpost,
xo Erica